As I watched more snowflakes fall from a tired sky, sudden sympathy grew for Jack Nicholson’s writer character in The Shining. OK, our situations weren’t identical–I lacked a menacing, empty hotel in the Colorado mountains, creepy twin ghosts (though I have one who taps me on the shoulder four times once in a while) or a bloody horror in my bathtub (the scariest part of the book for me), but white apartment walls and snow, my god, the snow, grew stifling, and if I didn’t take decisive action, I risked going doolally.
I kept the email to friends short and sweet: someone, take me somewhere. Anywhere. I needed human connection. And a cocktail. Manna materialized–a lightning strike reply from G, my 6’4″ Mighty Mouse flying by to save the day. So mighty that he carried friend, J, with him to rescue me.
I showed the depth of my gratitude by being ready when they got here. Readying myself for anything took twice as long with chronic pain; with pride and appropriate winter wear in place, I greeted them at the door. Golden karma flowed through me, creating campfire warmth much like my future Chipotle Pineapple Martini. I was shining inside.
Dear friends–sitting with me and working–great food, shared stories, and laughter lent a rosy glow to my cheeks. Well, that and the prednisone (and probably the martini), but a glow all the same. And it failed to dim when my eyes beheld the man with whom I shared the best sex of my life as he walked towards the restroom. Still glowed as he shot a darting glance my way returning to wherever he sat behind me.
Chatting continued while flashbacks played: naked bodies tangled up in sunlight, wanting his taste and hardness in my mouth forever, greedy feasting between parted legs, refusing pleas for his cum, straddling, guiding him into me, slower, tongue flicking breast buds, suckling, head back, christ, can’t hold it, wait, wait, fuck, I’m coming, thrusts, fuck, shaking, kissing, kissing, still in me, face in hands, drowning in kisses.
I relived it in seconds, high, bong hit high, spreading heat and quickened pulse releasing water goddess essence. No need to look back. Swallowed him down to savor coffee, cake, and companions. Everything sweeter, my cravings fed.