When Sad Songs Make Me Happy

Image

Why is it a great song by The Smiths plays each time I sit at Starbucks to write and read? And that it makes me happy? They nor Morrissey are known for peppy tunes. I guess it’s the era. Periods of the 80’s rank among the best of my life, and the music that I soaked up during those times only adds to the pleasurable ache of nostalgia. How else can I explain my lips curving into a soft smile when hearing these lyrics?

“Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now”

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
But Heaven knows, I’m miserable now
I was looking for a job and then I found a job
And Heaven knows, I’m miserable now

In my life, why do I give valuable time
To people who don’t care if I live or die ?

Two lovers entwined pass me by
And Heaven knows, I’m miserable now
I was looking for a job and then I found a job
And Heaven knows, I’m miserable now

In my life, oh, why do I give valuable time
To people who don’t care if I live or die ?

What she asked of me at the end of the day
Caligula would have blushed
“Oh, you’ve been in the house too long”, she said
And I naturally fled

In my life, why do I smile
At people who I’d much rather kick in the eye ?

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
But Heaven knows, I’m miserable now
“Oh, you’ve been in the house too long”, she said
And I naturally fled

In my life, oh, why do I give valuable time
To people who don’t care if I live or die ?

Ooh, ooh, I know the answer! It took a lifetime to figure it out but here it is: if you care that others always appreciate what you do for them, you’re not giving “free of charge.” You’re giving with expectations. I’ve struggled with this concept; still do, but not today. Why?

It was a Peggy day. Another song had put me in a fine mood as I drove to our session. And during said session, she said, “You have a big heart.” Unexpected, and coming from her…huge.

It’s then I realized the right people see the good in me. That’s the kind of beauty I want to radiate, so I performed a kindness to a stranger after leaving Peggy’s office. Nope, not telling. Surely you can think of something.

Lack of communication is unhealthy.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s