So I set my phone alarm for an hour last night and took knife to taped boxes in search of the following list of top priority items:

shower curtain
Ninja smoothie blender
tea kettle
coffee filters
coconut sugar
Evening Primrose Oil (it’s pure magic)
Brita pitcher (DC water’s notoriously third world)

I unearthed the Brita pitcher. That’s it. Oh, and great photos of friends and me at Ocean City during the summers of 1985-86. Yes, a nice trip down Memory Lane but it’s not going to prevent BO or create hormonal balance. I KNOW these items will surface in the last two to three boxes I open.

What did I find? Besides the Brita pitcher, I mean. Condoms. My probably expired box of ten vegan Glyde condoms. And my vibrator, lube, and fresh package of batteries. I found what Samantha would consider her top priority items. Actually, she wouldn’t pack these but carry them in her $1000 Birkin bag 24/7.

I bought a big handbag when I brought Mom here to sign my lease and hand over June’s rent. And found my “winter” big handbag while packing at the old apartment. I love that they hold a book, my journal, camera, even laptop. I think we can agree these items aren’t getting me laid. Maybe I’ll start carrying Samantha’s big handbag of “goodies.”

As soon as I find my big handbags.

Lack of communication is unhealthy.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s