“You might assume that people with hang-ups would be ill-suited to marriage,” University of Washington psychologist John Gottman and coauthor Nan Silver wrote in The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. “But research has found only the weakest connection between run-of-the-mill neuroses and falling in love. The reason: We all have our crazy buttons–issues we’re not totally rational about. But they don’t interfere with marriage. The key to a happy marriage isn’t having a ‘normal’ personality but finding someone with whom you mesh.” (6)

“What if your only “issue” is the belief that you have them and that they’re keeping you from a relationship? What if you stopped defining yourself as someone who is afraid of intimacy or attracted to the wrong kind of man? What if you instead saw yourself as a flawed but basically lovable human being? What if the only reason you’re alone is you just haven’t met your partner yet?” (italics my emphasis) (7)

**Ms. Eckel uses the term, “marriage,” to mean not only a legalized union, but a serious, long-term, monogamous relationship between two people (she remembered people like me who think marriage is an outdated institution–no offense).

Lack of communication is unhealthy.

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