DAY 8: The 43YOV is on the case. I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions anymore. Doing so is as doomed as that “Go get ’em!” energy you feel heading off for the first day of school. You feel invincible in your new rose-colored corduroys from The Gap (back when they sold pants only; seriously, look it up) even though it’s still hot and humid and your school has no air-conditioning. Showing off your Snoopy canvas book bag (all the rage, at least in my mind) holding a new Trapper Keeper, see-through plastic pen/pencil/pencil sharpener holder, and the coup de grace, an inch of virgin lined paper you’re anxious to defile with copious notes and practice exercises in your most elegant handwriting.
Tonight you’ll sit at your Scan teak kid-sized desk in your neat and cozy and safe yellow with white rosebuds-wallpapered bedroom, desk lamp ablaze, paper grocery bag-covered textbooks and Trapper Keeper open to tackle assigned homework. And you’re psyched, full of determination and fervor to read, study, answer “end of chapter” questions with eloquence and clarity. This year you’re going to be the disciplined, A/A- student who never falls behind or disappoints an already disappointed dad.
Two weeks later you’ve exhausted the fervor and discipline is no match for the distractions of non-school reading and listening to the radio and daydreaming about a future that plays out far differently than imagined.
No, resolutions result from guilt-inducing marketing schemes to join gyms you can’t afford, buy running shoes you’ll only walk in, drink Slim-Fast before each meal (all of which work remarkably well)…you get the idea. Now, though I’m by no means an expert at it, when I want to accomplish something to improve my life I just start working at it. No deadlines, (mostly) no guilt or trash talking myself, no promises. I try. Try without outlandish expectations. No expectations, in fact. And here’s the amazing part–it works.
Not 100% but much better than the “all or nothing” approach that never works (for me). Several months ago, having read accounts of others reversing chronic diseases like and including mine, I decide to try it myself. It’s a slow process because I know and respect how much my body can handle. One by one, I’m forming new habits that make this decision, this try seem possible.
And that makes me happy.
P.S. I wrote more but Safari suddenly shut down between “saves” (I cursed a bit, then repeated “but peace be with you” to my laptop a few times to restore good karma) and I lost the bit about a promising study showing an herb’s (thunder god vine) equal efficacy to that of the toxic methotrexate (!!), and how raw vegan foods, eliminating pain-triggering foods, and the imminent opening of the vegan Barnard Medical Center are and will be helping me in this attempt. Slapdash, but there you have it.