ONLY VEGAN SPERM FOR THIS GIRL!

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I remember the text a dear friend sent me after reading about my DC dating woes. He’s going to have to be vegan, she wrote. It’s too important to you. She was right (surrounding yourself with smarter people makes you seem smarter). I recall saying the same to the matchmaker chick. “But there goes a majority of your prospects!” she cried.

Yeah, and loads of pointless dates. Hallelujah!

Lack of communication is unhealthy.

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