“WHY WAIT UNTIL THE MIDDLE OF A COLD DARK NIGHT?”

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“I would like you to ask me to leave my work and rendezvous in the middle of the day for afternoon sex, it is the best.” (TILTDWY)

It may come as a surprise to you but being diagnosed with lung cancer had an unusual effect on me. You remember Cate Blanchett’s line from The Lord of the Rings at the film’s beginning: “…then something happened that the Ring did not intend?” Well, something happened to me that the diagnosis didn’t intend. Already experiencing a distinct lack of lavender melancholy, the blues or black depression after doubling my greens and raw meals, the shock of the news gave way to a sunny outlook.

No, I didn’t hear the voice of any god or become born again in any religious or spiritual way. If any “born again-ness” occurred, I crowned some time back and squished out with a faith in myself. With this sunny outlook came more laughing, optimism, confidence, lightheartedness, my “callings” to add non-human animals to religions’ list of equally precious, “not ours to eat” creations of their gods, and one on one “Stop Smoking” campaign shamelessly playing the lung cancer card. Lung cancer has made me happier, bolder and more giving than ever.

Hornier, too. Well, it only stands to reason that all these groovy vibes inside me would send my sex drive through the roof. And along with the clean eating, I can thank moving my body and breath more with yoga, rebounding and meditation. Meditation, especially, flipped a fantasy switch in my brain. The first one starred me only, this film-like scene suddenly popping into my head. Lying on the beach in a green (always green) bikini, legs bent and open to accept the pounding surf as it rushed to shore. The scene and so-close low ache shook and surprised me.

This has to be a one-off, I figured, though a very welcome one. Then meditating in lotus position on my bed one night the two of us came into focus. Naked and in a couple’s yoga pose I’d not tried before, obviously. Arms and legs wrapped ’round each other, the sides of our faces touching, breathing in sync, and such peace in this slowest of dances. And then he was in me as I leaned back on my hands and his legs, our connection sustained, an easy rhythm that belied the need to feed on our love for each other.

Like I said, happier than ever.

2 thoughts on ““WHY WAIT UNTIL THE MIDDLE OF A COLD DARK NIGHT?”

Lack of communication is unhealthy.

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