“HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON?”

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Yes, I woke up sopping wet at 4AM this morning. I grumbled at Zappa’s repeated paw tapping for ear tickles still dry as California (it popped into my head and seriously, I couldn’t think of any other dry thing–desert, dust, nope, still California), then awakened slowly in rhythm with the “dew” spreading over my body. I’ve grown weary of typing SWEAT day after day after day (hence the title, plus I love Paul Carrack’s voice) so I renamed it “night dew.”

If you were reading a steamy romance novel and “Dirk stole into Vanessa’s bedroom, opened French doors offering faint relief on a sultry Savannah night. She stirred as the weeping willow’s leaves brushed against each other in hushed reverence. Dirk paused, breath shallow as his eyes memorized the moon’s glow upon her bare skin. He ached to drink in the night dew on her glistening orbs and further down, clinging to her taut stomach and hips, inviting him to delve deeper into her womanhood,” you’d find “night dew” pretty appealing now, wouldn’t you?**

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**I wrote the above on Saturday which would have made it, let’s see, seven straight days and nights of “night dew” (preceded by nightmares that turned into sadmares that turned into “normal” dreams that turned into a mishmash of erotic/sex/love dreams). Each morning I woke a wee bit later. Thumbs up. Two nights ago (light bulb moment) I switched out my afghan for the never used organic cotton/bamboo flat sheet from a newish set Mom bought me. “Night dew” now faced a formidable opponent–the moisture-wicking power of bamboo. Thumbs up. The “Dew” diminished in strength.

Better safe than sorry I and my cash back bonus rewards lit upon a cooling azure blue organic cotton/bamboo nightie that satisfied many an Amazon customer who hailed it as night dew’s nemesis, like Sherlock Holmes’s Moriarty but the other way around. I clicked, “Small,” “Add to Cart,” “Are you mad? Of course use ALL of my cash back bonus rewards,” and “Place Order,” pleased at the sustained delusion that I saved money with this purchase.

On the down side came the realization that my night dew was a precursor to an “out of left field” RA flare that’s taken up residency in the following body parts: left bottom knuckle of index finger, outer left wrist, left upper arm, left upper back, left breast (???) (must Google this), left outer thigh below hip, right wrist and inner middle side of right foot. Thumbs down. I’ve found RA flares comparable to a pinball machine. You never know what that damn silver ball’s going to “ding” before the machine swallows it.***

***Woke up at 4AM but no discernible night dew last night. I’ll take it! Oh, and I’m consolidating posts ’cause WordPress hasn’t let me open a new draft since Saturday (“error occurred while loading” in mean red letters kept yelling at me). So far no happy, helpful support bubble has appeared to “live chat” this issue away.

Lack of communication is unhealthy.

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